We Were Supposed to Buy a House. We Moved Abroad Instead.
We had a plan. It just wasn’t this one.
I’ve always loved travel. In my early twenties, I made it a priority — sometimes for fun, sometimes for work — and each trip gave me a new way to see the world. I’ve traveled to seven countries so far, and every experience left its mark on me.
My husband didn’t have that same chance. He’d never been out of the country, not once.
Well… except for that one trip to Mexico he took — but I’ll let him tell you about that one, lol.
So when he started sending me TikToks and Reels about life abroad — families living in tropical places, beautiful homes tucked in rice fields, people slowing down and living softer — I’d just laugh and scroll.
I wanted to visit those places, sure. But live abroad? That was never part of the plan.
All I ever wanted was to work hard enough to build my dream barndominium in the middle of nowhere — a little farm, a few goats and chickens, and a wraparound porch where I’d sip coffee every morning. That’s still the dream, just hopefully with a little more peace and a lot less hustle.
I can’t pinpoint what moment or conversation changed everything, but one day, out of nowhere, I looked at my husband and said, “Let’s do it — let’s travel abroad.”
The words came out of my mouth, but they didn’t even feel real.
Life Was Good — But It Still Wasn’t Enough
We moved to Raleigh for work. It wasn’t part of some big plan — it just made sense at the time.
And I’ll be honest — I loved North Carolina. I still do. The trees, the balance of city and calm, the people. It really felt like home in every way. We were even planning to buy a house within the year. That’s how certain we were that Raleigh was it for us.
We didn’t have family there, but we built our own little community. Neighbors who quickly became family — we shared holidays together, swapped treats and grocery lists, and looked out for each other.
Then there was my good friend — the one who shared my love for food and plants. Our girl dates were simple: catch up on life, talk about work and family, and sip wine over a good charcuterie board. We both had a thing for making ordinary moments feel special.
And my mentor — boss, turned friend, turned mentor — has been in our lives for over a decade. She and her family had moved to Raleigh just a few months before we did. Having them nearby made things feel familiar. It was comforting knowing that someone who’s walked with us through so many seasons was close enough to reach.
We had routines. My husband had just become a police officer. Our girls were in a great magnet school. Weekends were full — errands, kids’ activities, laundry, grocery runs, and the usual reset before another work week.
Life was good. It was steady. It was normal.
But it still wasn’t enough.
Okay, So Where To?
The next question was obvious.
Me: “Okay… where are we going?”
Him: “The Philippines.”
If I’m being honest, I think he really wanted Japan — but it was winter and he wanted something warm and tropical.
The Philippines made sense. I’d worked with a team there at a previous company, and my husband grew up close to a woman who’s Filipina — someone he’s always considered a second mom, so he’d already learned a lot about the culture through her. It felt familiar in a distant, comforting way.
So boom — the Philippines it is.
We were already watching YouTube videos, but now it became part of our routine. We watched an excessive amount — like, too many — back to back. Families sharing their moves, apartment tours, grocery hauls, everything. We wanted to know it all.
We aimed to go in a year… but that quickly turned into us leaving in four months. Yikes.
Telling My Mom
Once we made the decision, the next big step was telling my mom.
She lives in Georgia — another place I’ve always called home. And let me just say, she is the best Noni a grandchild could ever ask for. She’s never missed a birthday, never missed a first day of school, and is always ready to celebrate. She spoils her grandbabies in the best way — stacks of pancakes, shopping trips that somehow end with new toys, and little “just because” surprises that usually break every rule Mom and Dad set.
If there were a Grandparent of the Year award, she’d win it — every year.
She’s our family’s biggest cheerleader. Always covering us in prayer, checking in, and making sure we’re good. Some of our most prized moments are spent laughing in her kitchen, playing games in the living room while Dad’s out on the grill, baking something and planning our next family trip. Even all the way from Georgia, she’s always been present.
So how do you tell that mom you’re taking her grandbabies halfway across the world?
I needed her “yes.” I’m 33, I know, but her blessing mattered to my core.
And knowing me made that conversation even harder. I’m the one who plans everything down to the smallest detail. My plans have backup plans, and those backup plans usually have backup plans too. So telling her that I was moving abroad with no hard deadline on when we’d be back sounded completely out of character.
But I meant it.
When I finally told her, I braced for questions or hesitation — but instead, she hit me with something I didn’t see coming.
“I want my kids to live the lives they dream of.”
She probably didn’t fully know what that meant at the time (we’ll talk about that later, lol), but she said yes. And that was all I needed.
From Dream to Departure
We were already watching YouTube videos about the Philippines, but at that point, it had become routine. We watched an excessive amount, and quickly. What started as casual curiosity turned into a nightly ritual of “what’s life like over there?” and “how do you even grocery shop abroad?”
Before we knew it, our one-year plan turned into four months.
We lived in a two-bedroom apartment after downsizing from a five-bedroom townhome, so we had a garage full of furniture — and then an apartment full of furniture. Yikes. Getting rid of it all was probably one of the most taxing parts of the move.
We sold, donated, and gifted nearly everything — blessing friends and families with the things that once filled our home. We handed over both sets of car keys and kept only what could fit in a few suitcases and storage bins.
And then came Kimchi.
Our pup, our little snub-nosed shadow, had been with us through it all. We looked into every possible way to bring him — relocation services, pet escorts, even specialized flights. But as we learned, his breed couldn’t safely fly more than six hours. The quotes that came back were around $8,000, and even then, they couldn’t guarantee his safety.
It was a gut punch. We had to make the impossible decision to leave him behind, at least for now. Thankfully, we found the perfect family — one who already had a Pug, knew the breed, and loved him instantly. It didn’t make it easier, but it did make it right.
That moment, handing him over, was when the reality hit. We weren’t just changing our address — we were changing our lives.
And Then, We Left
We flew out in February, straight to the Philippines.
And after a total of 32 hours of travel… we made it!
The plan was to stay for two or three months. That turned into five. And now, as I’m writing this, we’ve been abroad for nine months — hopping between islands and visiting three other countries along the way.
What started as “let’s just see what it’s like” turned into a complete reset.
Looking Back Now
If you’d told me two years ago that I’d be selling all our furniture, shopping in open-air markets, and relearning all the small things you stop noticing when life feels routine, I probably would’ve smiled politely and changed the subject.
But here we are.
And while that dream barndominium is still on my list, I’m realizing something I couldn’t have known before — sometimes, to build the life you really want, you have to step completely outside of what you thought it would look like.
This was never the plan. But it’s exactly where we’re meant to be.
🤎 Next up: The things I wish someone told me before moving abroad — from cost of living to culture shocks and the lessons I didn’t see coming.
